


Lost and then Found

by yutlunglovebot



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Because this is College, Fluff, For this life at least, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mutual Pining, No trauma, Reincarnation, Soulmates, alcohol consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:01:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29167716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yutlunglovebot/pseuds/yutlunglovebot
Summary: Somehow, somewhere, two souls were separated and through Ash and Eiji, they finally made it back to each other.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung & Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung/Sing Soo-Ling
Comments: 10
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter One - Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, I am a British person attempting to write a story based around College students in New York. I apologise now for any mistakes.  
> This is also the first multi-chapter fic I have ever written so I hope you enjoy it! (I'm going to upload a chapter each day from now on!)

It wasn’t as windy as Eiji thought it’d be, standing on the edge of this building.

The building wasn’t significant, it was the first one he saw that he deemed high enough - an apartment block that had stairs leading directly to the top. It was in the rougher part of New York, where alleyways reeked of days old rubbish, paint was peeling off doors and bullet holes littered every brick wall, but this was the part of New York that held the majority of his happiest memories.

His footing wobbled slightly as he recalled all the smiles, equally those of his friends and the man he considered - considers - his soulmate, the late-night chatter, and the few, but wonderful, kisses.

Lips tingled with memories as he pulled a picture from the inside pocket of his coat. It was the only one he’d kept after these 2 years, the only one he hadn’t given to Jim for safekeeping, but he scarcely looked at it - it hurt far too much. Even now he felt the almost incapacitating feeling of missing him as his eyes traced over soft blond locks, glowing skin, and the smile he reserved only for Eiji.

Tears fell silently down his face and landed on the photo, salty water trickling off the laminated paper and onto the ledge below, but Eiji had a smile on his face. His fingers traced the outline of the man - boy, really - in the photo’s face, delicately as if it would break. He huffed out a watery laugh when his eyes fell on the boy's grin again. It was bright, one that lit up his entire face and obscured his eyes with the way they were scrunched up. But even now Eiji could remember the vibrant green that would’ve been there, the jade eyes that would glance at him so softly as he would utter words of adoration into the small space between them.

His heart ached as echoes of words spoken but never forgotten seeped into his memories, causing more tears to flow until he was audibly sobbing, a hand clasped over his mouth. He sat down momentarily on wobbly legs, feet dangling over the side of the ledge as he allowed himself to cry, to sob, to _scream_.

He hadn’t gotten to do that before. The past 2 years were spent in a numb haze, even when he’d got the phone call. Tears had fallen, yes, but they were silent and few. He’d reverted to living in memories, cherishing every single one in an attempt to make the life he was living now slightly bearable.

It was like he’d taken a part of Eiji with him when he’d left. A vital part of him, one that everyone said they missed and one that Eiji didn’t remember the feel of having anymore. He’d taken his spirit, his happiness, his soul. Eiji wasn’t complete anymore and although he’d lived 19 years empty, he’d had a taste of fullness and completeness and it was enough that he could never go back to a life without it.

It was agony having part of your soul ripped from you so suddenly and 2 years of pure pain left Eiji exhausted.

With a lung wracking sigh, Eiji stood up again and balanced on the ledge. His unkempt and uncut hair blew in the warm summer wind, and Eiji could see the sun setting just over the horizon.

“I can’t wait to see you again, Ash,” He whispered to the photo, eyes dry now.

With one final exhale, he clutched the photo tightly to his chest, spun on his heel, and fell.

——

Eiji woke up with a start, sweat dripping down his face and soaking the back of his sleep shirt, his heart racing so fast he could feel it in his throat. He gulped down the water, hoping the cooling feeling of the drink would help ease the fear he could feel still tingling in his bones.

This wasn’t the first time he’d woken up so suddenly, it’d been happening far more frequently since he’d moved to New York for college, but he’d suffered since he was a child. Images of blood and guns and smiles would flash through his mind before they were forgotten yet again, the same time as the harsh feeling of fear and sadness would dissipate. Sometimes he’d wake up crying, other times he’d wake up screaming, a name on the tip of his tongue. Most times he just woke up sweating and gasping for air.

The clock read 7:30 as Eiji’s eyes shifted over to his nightstand, and the soft yellow rays of morning sun filtering in through the gap in his curtains confirmed that.

“Good thing I’m an early riser,” Eiji mumbled to himself, stretching with a yawn and cringing at the way his bones popped. Yutlung would’ve commented on him having an old man’s body if he was here with him right now. Eiji chuckled fondly at the thought.

He reached from his phone, just as a message from Yutlung came through.

“Speak of the devil.” Eiji opened it immediately, knowing full well just how much Yutlung hated late replies.

_why on earth do I take morning classes?  
I know you don’t have any lecturers today, so I better see you in front of the fashion block with a cup of coffee in T minus 1 hour _

Eiji chuckled at his best friend's texts. He knew Yutlung didn’t actually hate his morning classes. in fact, He was 100% passionate in his work, talking about fashion and clothes design so animatedly for hours on end that Eiji didn’t mind the fact he had no clue what he was talking about. It was quite endearing really, seeing the usual aloof Yutlung become soft and giddy at the mention of a clothing brand he liked, hands flying everywhere as he explained the different fabrics and how well they complimented each other.

_and not the homemade shit either. I want Starbucks, you know my order_

Sadly, he did. This was not the first time Yutlung had ordered him to pick up coffee and it was most definitely not the last (even though Eiji knew he always transferred him the money afterward).

He sent a quick text back in affirmation before finally leaving his bed, the only sign of his nightmare being the damp feeling of cold sweat clinging to his back.

The walk to Starbucks was spent wrapping his coat as tightly around him as he could, a hand on his knitted beanie in an attempt to stop it flying off in the November wind. New York, Eiji had learned, managed to turn from boiling with blazing sun and green trees, to bitterly cold, branches groaning at the weight of the snow, very quickly.

Luckily, there wasn’t any rain or snow today, the sun was out but it was still ridiculously cold. A part of Eiji hated Yutlung for making him leave the warmth of his flat, but then he remembered the sweet taste of caramel swirling into the bitterness of coffee and suddenly everything didn’t seem quite as awful.

The heavy doors swung shut loudly behind Eiji with the strength of the wind, and he sent an apologetic smile to the room as eyes quickly glanced in his direction. He felt awkward as he scurried his way towards the counter, tugging his coat even tighter around him until it practically felt like a corset.

The cashier smiled at him as she ushered him forward, but Eiji noticed the tell-tale “customer service smile” strains in her face.

“2 caramel macchiato’s please, but one with soy milk and an extra pump of caramel,” Eiji rattled off, easily remembering Yutlung’s order and having long since gotten over the embarrassment of asking for anything other than standard.

“Name?” The cashier asked as she scribbled on the plastic cups.

“Eiji,” He replied simply before moving into the waiting area, whipping out his phone to let Yutlung know he’d ordered.

As he waited, however, he felt the prickly feeling of eyes watching him. His spine immediately straightened, and he looked behind him to see a blonde man averting his gaze with an awkward cough. Curious, Eiji continued to watch him, smirking slightly when he saw him bring his gaze back up towards Eiji.

And although when Eiji first moved to New York he was hesitant to strike up a conversation with anyone, given his accent, he’d been here since August now and his English had improved rapidly. Even Yutlung said he’d gotten better, and Yutlung wasn’t one for compliments. So, he plucked up the courage and moved closer to the blonde. Something was drawing him towards the man.

“Hello,” he said simply with a small, approachable smile.

“Uh, hi,” the stranger replied, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced anywhere but Eiji.

“I’m Eiji,” he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“I know,” the man replied quickly but blanched when Eiji raised his eyebrows in question. “I heard you say it when you ordered.” the words tumbled out over numerous stutters, his face bright red.

“Oh, that’s why you were staring,” Eiji teased, laughing happily.

“I just thought I recognised you, is all,” He huffed, scuffing a foot along the linoleum floor.

“Isn’t that a pickup line?” Eiji questioned, tapping his finger against his chin. “You know, the ‘haven’t I see you around here before?’” He said, putting on his best sleazy American accent with a raised eyebrow.

Despite his blush, the stranger laughed too, and Eiji felt warm at the sound. “I meant it sincerely.”

And the more Eiji looked at him, the more he could understand the feelings of familiarity. He definitely couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something so achingly familiar and yet he knew he hasn’t seen him before. He’d definitely remember someone this attractive.

“Maybe there’s a lot of cute Japanese boys in New York,” Eiji giggled with a wink, and the man smiled softly at him too and let out a small huff with a shake of his head.

“Ash!” the barista called, sliding three cups filled with different drinks over the counter. The blonde - Ash, Eiji presumed - grabbed them with ease, smiling at the barista in thanks.

“See you then, Ash,” Eiji said as Ash began walking towards the exit.

“See you, Eiji,” He replied, throwing a smile over his shoulder. “I’ll remember you next time!”

Eiji laughed happily just as the barista called his own name, the tingle of warmth over his interaction with Ash still lingering even as he glanced at the way his name was spelled on the cup - _Ayji_

——

“Took you long enough,” Yutlung complained as Eiji handed him his - still warm - coffee. He was leaning against one of the pillars in front of the university entrance, his long cream coat open but a scarf wrapped securely around his neck.

“Isn’t it a bit cold to be wearing a crop top?” Eiji deflected, pointing at the knitted mustard top he was wearing that exposed his naval.

“It is never too cold to be wearing a crop top, Eiji,” Yutlung replied seriously, sighing over a sip of coffee as he clutched the drink with two hands. “My lecture doesn’t start for another 20 minutes so let’s go sit.” He was already dragging Eiji away with his free hand (the other hand was holding an A2 folder of fabrics and designs) towards a bench that didn’t look too damp.

“So, updates on Sing,” Yutlung said excitedly, elongating the vowel on the boy’s name. “He asked me to dinner!”

“That’s great, Yue!” Eiji exclaimed as Yutlung grinned beside him. Eiji had only known Yutlung a few months (they’d both come over from Asia to New York for the exchange program and became fast friends) and pretty much the whole time he’d been infatuated with a boy named Sing. Eiji had never actually met the kid, but he’d been shown enough pictures to know that he was tall, dark, and handsome.

“He didn’t say where he’s taking me though so I have absolutely no clue what to wear,” Yutlung began, listing off different outfit choices and what would be appropriate for every option available and Eiji tried to listen and give his own advice, he really did, but his mind wandered elsewhere.

His thoughts drifted back to the pretty blonde at the coffee shop - Ash, he remembered. He thought about how his face went tomato red and contrasted so well with his platinum locks and the way his green eyes shone as he smiled softly at Eiji. Thoughts of running his fingers through those pretty strands, of how silky they would be under his touch, and the feel of those jade eyes looking up at him as he did so felt familiar, yet again.

“-ello? Hello!” Eiji jumped as Yutlung’s dainty hand found its way into his field of vision, eyes focusing back on his best friend who was looking at him in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Oh! yes! yes, sorry, I’m fine,” Eiji explained hastily, embarrassed at his own thoughts about a man he’d known for 5 minutes. “I was just thinking.”

“About?” Yutlung prompted.

Eiji huffed, crossing his arms as a defense of the inevitable teasing he was about to receive. “...a boy.”

Yutlung screamed in delight, causing a couple of people to turn their way in annoyance and Eiji to cover his ears with a wince. “What’s his name?”

“Ash,” Eiji replied sheepishly. “I met him when I was getting our coffee and he looked around our age, blonde hair, green eyes, _very_ pretty.” He sighed wistfully as he described Ash, actually sighed, before pulling himself together with a blush.

“Is his name Ash Lynx by any chance?” Yutlung asked, a smile playing on his lips. Eiji shrugged in response, he hadn’t caught his last name, and Yutlung was whipping his phone out before Eiji could even realise what was happening. Soon enough, there was a picture of Ash thrust into his face, his arms around Sing and another Chinese man with a purple mohawk. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen him before, he’s all over Sing’s Instagram.”

“You know I don’t use Instagram,” He explained distantly, eyes taking in Ash’s bright smile and the casual way he was leaning against his 2 friends.

“And I’ve been telling you to so you can get more recognition for those photos you take!” Yutlung scolded, but Eiji had heard this argument numerous times before. “Plus, you would’ve seen the love of your life far sooner.”

Eiji shot Yutlung a blank look before glancing at the phone screen again. “You’re late for your lecture.”

“Fuck!”

——

“You look happy for 8 in the morning,” Shorter teased as Ash approached him and Sing hastily, cheeks flushed from both the cold and thoughts of Eiji.

“I think I’ve just met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with,” Ash spoke seriously after he’d sat down, leaning on the table towards Sing and Shorter. There was a pause before they both started laughing loudly at Ash, who was scowling in return.

He watched them both cackle to themselves, goading each other on with their laughter, as he sipped his black coffee, an eyebrow raised as he waited for them to stop. Eventually, their laughter died down into small chokes and gasps, but their grins remained.

“The man you want to spend the rest of your life with, huh?” Sing asked. “That’s a big statement, Lynx.”

“You would understand if you saw him.” And maybe they wouldn’t have the same overly dramatic reaction to the boy as Ash did, but he knew that they would be smitten with him too - anyone would. The second he saw him stumble his way into the coffee shop, woolen hat placed upon a wavy mess of black locks and cheeks splotchy red from the cold, his heart skipped a beat. It skipped another when he heard the man speak in accented English, his voice high and polite in the way it only is when speaking to strangers. And another beat when he heard him speak his name - “Eiji.” Ash had never heard that name before, it was definitely foreign, and yet a rush of comfort seeped into his bones as he heard it.

“Sure, buddy,” Shorter humoured him. “So, details.” He prompted.

“His names Eiji. He’s foreign, Japanese I think, and he has this real sweet smile. Like, fuck, I dunno how to describe it but I wanna see it forever,” He slumped in his seat as he recalled the smiles Eiji had directed at him, both teasing and real, and felt his own lips stretch into a dopey smile. “Oh! and he drinks caramel macchiato, either normal or with soy milk and extra caramel.”

“Nah, the soy and caramel is Yutlung’s order,” Sing said, smirking as he crossed his arms over his broad chest, shirt stretching over his muscles. Ash remembered when they were all 14 and Sing was a pretty late bloomer, staying lanky with a high-pitched voice far longer than the rest of them. Now, he towered over them and was probably twice the size of Ash, muscles wise.

“Huh?” Ash replied eloquently.

“I think the guy you’re talking about is Yutlung’s best friend.” Sing started, rolling his eyes when both Shorter and Ash stared blankly at him. “Yutlung’s the guy I’m going on a date with.”

Shorter immediately burst out into a yell, slapping Sing on the arm as he asked him questions about this “Yutlung” and how he’d convinced him to go on a date with Sing. Meanwhile, Ash dug out his phone and scoured through Sing’s Instagram followings before landing on said man (he’d already attempted to find Eiji’s Instagram on the way over but, alas, his search was futile).

And there he was. Eiji, in all his glory, grinning at the camera next to a man with silky long hair. His mouth was open as if the picture were captured mid-laugh, and he was wearing makeup. Blush adorned his cheeks and nose along with a scatter of fake freckles and a light gold shimmer was applied delicately over his lids. His lips were pink and glossy, and Ash briefly wondered if they’d feel sticky or soft on his own. The caption read “Eiji finally let me make him pretty.”

Ash grinned as he turned his phone towards his bickering friends. “There he is! the one on the right.” The boys stopped mid-sentence, turning in sync and taking in the picture.

“Woah,” Shorter commented after a short pause. “Damn, I get it, Ash, your boy is pretty.” Ash agreed with a fond smile and a nod.

“Mines prettier,” Sing teased, but he smiled at Ash softly. “Right, so how the fuck do we get you two to meet again?”

Shorter chuckled, pulling his glasses down to the tip of his nose to show his sparkling honey eyes, mischievous grin adorning his face. “Leave that to me.”

——

Eiji huffed dramatically as he flopped back onto his bed, Yutlung rummaging through his mess of a closet and commenting on how awful Eiji’s taste in fashion was. He’d been doing this for half an hour already, stating he was going to help him find an outfit for the house party that night.

“The party doesn’t start for another 6 hours, Yue,” He had whined as Yutlung’s icy fingers wrapped around his slim wrist and dragged him towards his bedroom.

“I _know_ ,” He’d retorted. “But I need to make sure you look just as pretty as me because I can’t be seen beside someone who’s anything less than perfection and honestly, right now? you need a lot of work.” Eiji had gasped in mock offense as Yutlung sent a wink over his shoulder but let him delve into his closet all the same.

Outfits were thrust against him before being discarded on a heavily growing pile on the bed, and Eiji was afraid he’d run out of clothes before Yutlung even had the chance to settle on one.

“Aha!” Yutlung exclaimed, a further 15 minutes later. He’d landed on a black vest and a pink and yellow jacket Eiji didn’t even remember owning, along with some white trousers.

“I’m not wearing that!” Eiji exclaimed. “What’s wrong with my usual sweater and shirt combo?”

“Eiji, this is a party. You need to change your look a little!” Yutlung replied, shoving the clothes into Eiji’s arms. He hesitated momentarily before begrudgingly trying them on, cringing at the cold feel of the jacket material against his bare arms.

He stood awkwardly in front of Yutlung, who was tapping his chin in thought before he strode over to Eiji. He aggressively ruffled his hair as Eiji whined in protest, slipped one sleeve off his shoulder, and delicately placed a pair of purple sunglasses that he procured from god knows where onto his nose.

Assessing his work yet again, Yutlung let out a tiny squeal behind his hand and grinned at Eiji. “Oh sweetheart, you look incredible!”

Despite himself, Eiji blushed at the compliment and scurried over the room to look at himself in the mirror. And okay, he did look kind of good. He smiled slightly to himself as he checked out the outfit, pulling the jacket on tighter. It may not be appropriate for Winter, but parties got hot and sweaty quickly no matter what the weather.

Yutlung was smiling at him smugly when he caught him staring at himself in the mirror, and Eiji rolled his eyes fondly before ushering him out of the room to get changed himself.

They arrived at the party fashionably late, and Yutlung informed him with enthusiasm on the way there that the hosts were, in fact, Sing and his flatmates Ash and Shorter. Eiji had slapped Yutlung repeatedly on the arm for withholding that information, but Yutlung had simply laughed with delight as they reached the threshold. As Yutlung knocked loudly, Eiji tried to slow his erratic heartbeat with long, steady breaths, but the thoughts of seeing Ash again made him both nervous and incredibly excited.

“Relax, honey,” Yutlung murmured, hand rubbing up and down his back soothingly, just as the door opened with flourish to reveal a very tall man.

“Yue!” The man exclaimed, eyes lighting up as he took in the pair, and Yutlung ran into his embrace quickly, lips locking before his arms even had time to wrap themselves around him. Eiji put two and two together, from the photos he’d seen and the reaction, that this was Sing.

Eiji stood awkwardly on the porch as the two kissed, not knowing whether to push past or interrupt, but luckily they had the decency to break apart before the awkwardness became unbearable.

“Sing, this is Eiji,” Yutlung introduced, hands still resting against Sings broad chest. “And Eiji, this is Sing,” Eiji waved politely as Sing sent him a 2-finger salute.

“Come inside you two! It’s cold as fuck out there,” Sing said, finally untangling himself from Yutlung’s embrace and sauntering into the house. Yutlung’s eyebrows drew together in annoyance at the loss of contact momentarily, before following.

“I didn’t know you two were official,” Eiji spoke so only Yutlung could hear once he caught up to them.

“We became pretty official after our first date a couple of weeks ago, if you know what I mean,” Yutlung replied, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Eiji fake gagged at the comment, pushing through groups of mingling bodies to reach the drinks table.

He grabbed a beer, uncapping it quickly and downing half in a few gulps, resigned to the fact he was going to be the third wheel tonight, but surprisingly Sing and Yutlung involved him in their conversation, despite the lingering touches and glances they were sending each other.

Sing and Eiji was halfway through a conversation about their chosen majors when Yutlung interrupted, a sly smile playing on his lips and eyes twinkling mischievously. “Hey, Sing, where are those roommates of yours? I wanna meet them.”

Eiji shot Yutlung a betrayed glare who only shrugged in faux apology and dragged Eiji along with him as they searched the small apartment for the boys. In the time they’d been chatting, Eiji’s heart rate had started to slow through nursing a couple of beers and managing to keep the thought of bumping into Ash as far away from his mind as possible (although he couldn’t help the tiny twinge of disappointment that ignited in his chest at the fact he hadn’t even caught a glimpse of the blonde). Now, it was beating erratically once more.

When they rounded the corner, Eiji gulped down the rest of his beer as a shock of bright purple next to platinum came into view. Yutlung shot him an encouraging smile with a subtle thumbs up just as Sing yelled an “oi!” to catch their attention with a wave of his hand.

Sunglasses and green immediately turned towards them, and the purple mohawk (Eiji assumed this was Shorter) waved back just as enthusiastically.

Ash’s eyes were already on him when he plucked up enough courage to look towards him, wide in shock, but there was also a smile upon his lips. A small, warm one. Eiji felt the hot flow of comfort seep into his bones.

Sing and Shorter were yelling at each other over the loud bass of the music, but all Eiji caught was Sing introducing Yutlung, an arm possessively around his slim waist. He stood awkwardly beside them, fingers tapping on the empty neck of his beer bottle, eyes flicking up towards Ash every now and again. His previous confidence in striking up a conversation and making eye contact seemed to dissipate now that he had a bloody crush on the guy.

“Hi.” Eiji was startled at the sudden presence of Ash directly in front of him, a shy smile on his face.

“Hi,” Eiji replied, looking at Ash through his lashes. The blonde faltered, before averting his gaze with a blush and a cough. Eiji’s heart rate quickened once more.

“I didn’t know you were coming to this party,” Ash continued, too causally, sipping on his own beer. Eiji studied his own empty bottle before replying.

“Yutlung forced me here, I’m not usually one for parties.”

“Neither am I, Shorter’s the one that organised this though and he insisted I didn’t spend the time hiding in my room,” Ash laughed, and Eiji joined in.

“Is there a reason for the party?” Eiji asked. Ash blushed again, right to the roots of his hair, and Eiji tilted his head in question.

“Do you want another drink?” Ash deflected, words tumbling out quickly. Eiji hesitated, he didn’t want to leave Yutlung without telling him, but as he turned to inform his friend, he found him making out with Sing. Heavily. Shorter was already long gone.

“Oh god, yes let’s go get another drink,” Eiji replied with a groan, storming off towards the drinks table once again. Ash’s melodic laughter followed directly behind him, and Eiji found himself stopping a smile despite the image of hands underneath Yutlung’s sheer shirt burned into his mind.

Ash poured Eiji a drink instead of just thrusting another bottle of beer into his hands, a vodka coke which he accepted enthusiastically. He poured his own drink before turning back to Eiji, both of them sipping their drinks in silence. It wasn’t awkward, nor was it completely comfortable, they just let the heavy bass reverberate between them.

When Eiji was almost finished his - extremely strong - drink, he realised quickly why it was common knowledge not to mix your alcohol. His legs felt like lead, his head was spinning, and his teeth were fuzzy, but he felt more relaxed than he had all night. He shot Ash a drunken grin just as a song he vaguely recognised sounded over the speakers and downed the rest of his drink.

“Come dance with me, Ash!” He exclaimed. Drunk Eiji, he had learned from his time at University, tended to be a forward Eiji, and right now his little gay heart was screaming to be close to the boy.

Ash, who was quite clearly stone-cold sober, stuttered loudly, the rosiness on his cheeks matching Eiji’s drunken blush. “C’mooooon, it’ll be fun!” Eiji slurred, tugging at Ash’s arm. He used all the strength he’d gained in pole-vaulting training to haul Ash over to where people were dancing.

Despite attempting to break away from Eiji at first, Ash became pliant once he realised he wasn’t going to win (Eiji was a determined drunk) and let himself be dragged over to the dance floor.

Immediately Eiji started dancing (bouncing really) arms raised in the air, whooping loudly. Ash awkwardly bopped his head beside him, self-consciously observing the room for anyone who might be watching him. Granted, most people were blackout drunk, either dancing sloppily in groups or dry humping in front of everyone, but Ash still didn’t like the idea of there being any chance of someone watching him.

Eiji tutted when he saw Ash’s pathetic attempt at dancing and draped his arms easily over his shoulders. “You’re not dancing,” Eiji teased, raising his eyebrow. Ash felt himself flush from head to toe, the weight of Eiji’s arms resting on his shoulders tingling on his skin. Eiji’s own face was mere centimetres away, beautifully flushed, eyes half-lidded.

“Move your body more, c’mon!” Eiji prompted, his body flush against Ash’s as he moved his own hips. If Eiji’s brain wasn’t clouded by alcohol right now, he knew he’d never be that bold, but he relished in the confidence the vodka gave him.

Eiji kept dancing, his own moving hips prompting Ash to do the same, and he clasped his hands together behind Ash’s neck. He was looking up at Ash, boldly connecting his brown eyes with Ash’s green when he felt hesitant hands on his waist. Sighing happily at the feeling, Eiji pulled them even closer together, prompting Ash’s hands on his waist to grab his more confidently.

They looked more like they were slow dancing really, swaying their hips to their own beat and not matching the tempo of the drum and bass blaring around them at all, but that didn’t matter.

Suddenly, Eiji wasn’t dancing underneath some crappy strobe lights in a college flats living room, he was dancing in a fancy apartment he didn’t completely recognise, very fancy if the height of the ceilings and the luxurious nature of the furniture surrounding him was anything to go by.

The music was calmer, an orchestral symphony that was blaring from the earphone placed atop his head, attached to a Walkman that was shoved nicely into the back pocket of his jeans. But Ash was still there. Granted, his hair cut was slightly different, closer to a mullet than anything else, and his eyes were holding a warmth that Eiji had never seen before (except maybe he had, considering he wasn’t too shocked to see the look shining in Ash’s eyes).

His arms were wrapped around Ash’s neck, and they were swaying along to the music. Ash also had headphones on, the wire trailing to a separator that was attached to the Walkman, and it was just them, alone, in this foreign apartment.

And just as quickly as Eiji was thrust into that room, he was back in the college apartment, the stench of alcohol and sweat permeating into his senses at an alarming rate, making him gag slightly.

“Are you okay?” Ash asked, concerned. They had stopped swaying, but Ash’s hands were still on him, now cupping Eiji’s hips, and his eyebrows were furrowed as he searched Eiji’s eyes for any sign of distress.

“I-“ Eiji started, words catching in his throat. He coughed before continuing. “I’m gonna go get another drink, I think.” He untangled himself from Ash before storming over to the drinks table, leaving a confused Ash in his wake. He managed to down another vodka coke in two gulps before he even felt the itchiness of tears drying on his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash definitely knew Eiji was gonna be at the party, he just likes to pretend he's cooler than he is


	2. Chapter Two - Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Eiji get to know each other a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the first chapter at 2 am last night, so I consider this the next day.

An overwhelming feeling of peace washed over Ash once he’d slumped into his seat. He was clutching at his abdomen still, applying pressure to his new wound that was pumping out far too much blood.   
  
He sat at his favourite table in the New York Public library, opting to sit in the seat Eiji usually occupied in a pathetic attempt to feel close to the boy one final time.   
  
He knew he was going to die here, that much was evident, and yet he was not scared. He’d kidded himself with the story of the leopard and the mountain and his acceptance of death and yet when a situation arose in which it was practically inevitable, the familiar feeling of fear would seep into his bones.   
  
But this time, he had Eiji’s letter. Even with his clouded vision, he was able to read the phrase “my soul is always with you” over and over again, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks. He’d miss Eiji, indescribable amounts. Even though he knew he didn’t have very long to live, he knew his soul would always yearn for the Japanese. He loved him with his entire heart, more than that really, there was not enough words in the English language for him to say how much he loved that boy. There was a tiny thought that maybe he should get help, just so he could see Eiji one last time, but Blanca’s words came back to him - a rabbit and a lynx could not be friends.   
  
Ash was dangerous, he’d known that for as long as he could remember. He’d only be putting Eiji in harm’s way if they saw each other again, and Ash would do anything, give anything, to ensure that man never had to suffer again.   
  
With tears cascading down his cheeks, Ash looked to the ceiling above him. It was beautiful, murals of the sky painstakingly hand-painted and surrounded by intricate designs of oak wood and gold. He imagined Eiji’s plane flying just above it, taking him back to the comforts of his homeland where he’d be happy and safe and, in time, forget about Ash.   
  
His sight was becoming blurrier, and the pressure on his wound weaker as the hand he held there was drenched in his own crimson blood. He lowered his head to the table, resting a damp cheek against the beautiful script of the letter Eiji had spent the time writing.   
  
And Ash realised that he was at peace with dying this time because he knew Eiji loved him. Just as much as he loved Eiji.   
  
——  
  
 _BEEP BEEP BEEP_  
  
Ash’s alarm blared from his phone that was somewhere in his tangle of sheets, but he was already awake. He lay, staring at the ceiling as flashes of shining silver, slanted script and scarlet dripping over slim fingers appeared in his mind, disappearing just as quickly as they’d arrived.   
  
There was a pain in Ash’s chest, almost akin to that of a chesty cough. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he wasn’t gasping for air, just taking long, painful gulps of oxygen. It felt like agony, it felt like dying, it felt like longing.   
  
_BEEP BEEP BEEP_  
  
His alarm was still going, and Ash blindly scoured his bed for it. He found it just beside his waist and brought it up to his eyesight to turn it off, squinting against the harsh light.   
  
Once he pressed the stop button, his eyes widened at the message from an unknown number, the heavy feeling in his chest slowly dissolving.   
  
_Hi Ash, it’s Eiji. I hope you don’t mind but I asked Yutlung to ask Sing to give me your number as I didn’t have it before. I just want to apologise for last night. I understand that I’d had a few too many to drink and started acting inappropriately around you. I don’t remember much, but I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way, it was not my intention at all. Again, I’m sorry._   
  
Ash frowned at the message. It felt far too formal, too removed, it didn’t sound like Eiji at all. He was embarrassed, that much was evident, but Ash didn’t see any reason to be. He knew this was about the dancing, they hadn’t done anything else that could be deemed “inappropriate”, but Ash was a willing participant (after the initial shock) and he liked dancing with Eiji. There wasn’t anything suggestive about it, it was nice, it was innocent. He felt safe in those arms like he was coming home. It felt right.   
  
He was about to reply when suddenly his door was smashed open, a grinning Shorter with messy bed hair and a line of hickeys up his neck stood in the doorway. Instead of saying anything, he simply sauntered inside and slid into the empty space beside Ash.   
  
Ash shuffled closer to the edge of his bed and away from Shorter. He didn’t want to touch his naked torso, especially when he still reeked of sex.   
  
“So,” Shorter finally spoke, looking up at Ash as he lay beside him. “I saw you and Eiji dancing last night.”   
  
Ash huffed. By the look on Shorter’s face, he knew he wasn’t going to give up until he had extracted every little detail from Ash about this that he could. Usually, Ash was stubborn, but part of him wanted to gush about Eiji and also have a second opinion on why he suddenly scurried away, eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears.   
  
“What about it?” He finally landed on, playing disinterested.   
  
“Did you guys, you know, do anything?” Shorter said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Ash merely huffed, crossing his arms over his chest like a child.   
  
“I barely know the guy Shorter,” He finally responded in a mumble.   
  
“And? I knew the woman I slept with last night for roughly 3 hours,” Shorter retorted. “I can’t even remember if her name was Anna or Hannah...” He trailed off, tapping his chin. “Anyway!” He suddenly exclaimed. “Do you want to do anything with him?”   
  
Ash thought about that, did he? Yes, he thought Eiji was gorgeous, ethereal even, and he had a wonderful personality to match. Ash longed to be next to him as if part of his soul were reaching for the boy, like he needed him. He’d imagined himself kissing him, once or twice, but they were innocent pecks followed by awkward fingers intertwining and deep blushes dusting both of their cheeks. He hadn’t felt the need to have sex with Eiji, it hadn’t even crossed his mind until Shorter mentioned it.   
  
And honestly? Sex scared Ash. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable, the only time he ever bore himself fully, emotionally, was in front of his brother, and even that was a rare occurrence now. The idea of being that close to someone, so intimate that two bodies would become one? It had never really appealed to him. And yet, the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to show himself fully to Eiji, have him explore everything about him. Be vulnerable in front of him.   
  
“Uh, Hello?” Ash was snapped from his daydream by shorter waving a tanned hand in front of his face. “Dude I asked you a yes or no question. Did that 180 IQ brain of yours combust at the thought of seeing Eiji naked?” Shorter was smirking, even as Ash hit him directly in the face.   
  
“Look, I like him okay. I may have been exaggerating when I said I’d found the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but it did have some element of truth to it. I like him and so what if I do wanna have sex with him? That’s natural, yes?” Ash was blushing furiously as he spoke, waving his hands around as he spoke in an attempt to distract Shorter from his crimson face.   
  
“You better not deflower my Eiji just yet, Lynx.” A velvety smooth voice sounded from his doorway, and both Ash and Shorter whipped their heads around to find a half-naked Sing leaning against his wall, Yutlung, in an oversized dress shirt, clinging to his arm. Both were smirking.   
  
Ash groaned out loud into his hands, head bowed. “Oh my god, I didn’t mean now! Now I just wanna go on dates with him and hold his hand and kiss all over his face and bring him flowers and- and just be with him. I just want to be next to him and I know I’ve seen him twice, but I feel different now. I feel lighter, more complete.” He was rambling now, and when he looked up again he saw all three people staring at him with wide eyes. “It’s so fucking stupid, I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help how I feel.”   
  
He ignored the eyes trained on him as he extracted himself from his bed, grabbed a dirty shirt from his floor, and pushed past Sing and Yutlung in the doorway. He went into the living room and started collecting stray cans and bottles, glad that no one had decided to collapse on their couch, and ignored the embarrassed flush on his face.   
  
——  
There was incessant knocking at Eiji’s door. Constant, loud, and obnoxious. He knew immediately it was Yutlung.   
  
“Yes, I’m coming!” He yelled as the knocking grew even louder. He put down the bowl he was currently drying, slung the towel over his shoulder, and opened the door.   
  
As expected, Yutlung stood behind it. He was in a casual jumper and trousers for once, but in his hands, he bore several bags. Upon inspection, Eiji realised they were full of different alcohols, mixers, and decorative fruits.   
  
Eiji felt his stomach lurch as he caught sight of the blue label on a vodka bottle, his body remembering the way he had furiously vomited up half its contents after he drank himself into a state at the party a couple of days ago.   
  
“Hi, Yue,” Eiji finally replied, weakly.   
  
“You sound enthusiastic,” Yutlung commented, sarcastically, as he let himself into Eiji’s apartment. He dumped the bags on Eiji’s kitchen counter and immediately scoured his cupboards for cocktail glasses as if he owned the place. “You usually love our cocktail nights.”   
  
That much was true. Since they’d become friends, they’d regularly had nights where they would make each other different cocktails they’d come across on the internet and chat until the small hours of the morning. It was nice, Eiji had never had a friend as close as Yutlung before, even with the people he’d seen grow from toddlers to young adults. Eiji wasn’t exactly sure how Yutlung consistently managed to get his hands-on expensive alcohol, considering he was only 18, but Eiji never questioned it. He knew fake ID’s were common in the US.  
  
“I just wasn’t expecting it, is all,” He felt himself almost gag as Yutlung brought out bottle after bottle of alcohol. Eiji inhaled and exhaled slowly, chasing down the feeling of water in the back of his throat.   
  
“Yeah well, I missed you and I miss alcohol,” Yutlung explained offhandedly. He measured the vodka and schnapps in shot glasses, before shrugging and pouring slightly more into each glass. “Hopefully mum doesn’t call asking why I keep buying so much alcohol again.”   
  
“Yue I saw you three days ago. And you drank three days ago.”   
  
“What is up with you?” Yutlung finally looked up at Eiji, a flash of hurt flickering over his features at the way Eiji was acting. “I can go if you really want.”   
  
Eiji sighed, guilt seeping into his bones. “It’s not that, Yue. I just drank too much at that party so I’m still a bit sensitive to alcohol.”  
  
Yutlung brightened at that, glad Eiji’s bad mood wasn’t to do with him. “Well if you drink again now you’ll get over it. Believe me, been there, done that.” Eiji knew that, he’d had to hold Yutlung’s hair away from his face as he vomited behind the back of a bar 2 weeks after they’d met. It wasn’t a fun experience, but Eiji felt it brought them closer together as friends. Yutlung made him swear to never bring it up again, however. “Also, I have some news regarding your blondie,” Yutlung added, passing Eiji a sex on the beach.   
  
“What do you mean?” Eiji asked eagerly, almost sloshing the concoction over the rim of the glass.   
  
“Drink up first, then I’ll tell you.”   
  
After he managed to stomach the first drink, the rest went down easily, no previous feelings of sickness getting in the way. Piña Coladas, Margaritas, Long Island Ice Teas, and Strawberry Daiquiris were made and drunk, and soon Eiji felt that familiar tingling and light-headedness of drunkenness.   
  
“Okay,” Eiji began as he sipped his 5th (6th?) drink. “What’s this news about Ash?”   
  
Yutlung giggled as he played with the strawberry in his drink. He too was tipsy, a light dusting of pink colouring his porcelain skin. “Well, I may have overheard him talking about you.”   
  
Eiji sat up straight abruptly, this time his drink did slosh over the rim and spilled onto the sofa, but he paid it no mind. “What did he say?”   
  
“I’m not one to snitch, Eiji,” Yutlung replied, sipping on his drink. Eiji whined in protest, and Yutlung licked the sweet drink off his lips before speaking. “However, this is too fun not to share.”   
  
Yutlung leaned forward in his seat, eyes sparkling with mirth. Eiji did the same, leaned so far forward his chest touched his knees. “Ash likes you.”  
  
Eiji’s breath hitched, and his eyes opened even wider. Part of him thought Yutlung was lying, how could a person as beautiful as Ash like someone as mediocre as Eiji. However, another part of him, a bigger part of him, believed his best friend. He’d seen the way Ash had looked at him at the party, even though he could only remember snippets, he saw those soft eyes gazing down at him, his calm movements betrayed by the nervous blush on his cheeks.   
  
“How do you know?” Eiji eventually asked. If he was going to believe this wholeheartedly, he needed some solid evidence.   
  
“As I said, I overheard him,” Yutlung began. “I stayed around Sing’s bedroom after the party and we both heard him talking to Shorter in the morning. At first, he was talking about how he wanted to have sex with you-“ Eiji choked on his drink, spluttering and hacking up a lung as he tried to process what had just been said. Yutlung paid him no mind. “- and then he said something along the lines of right now he just wants to go on dates with you, hold your hand, kiss, and all that gross lovey-dovey shit.” Yutlung stuck his tongue out in disgust (although he knew he and Sing did that exact “lovey-dovey shit”, but it was different imagining his tiny Eiji doing that).   
  
Eiji however, was gazing at the ceiling, eyes practically twinkling as he grinned brightly. He, too, had imagined doing such things with Ash. He wanted to go on cheesy dates with him, all the while holding hands and chatting about everything and nothing. He wanted to stand on his tiptoes and peck Ash on the lips, to surprise him, and then have Ash sweep him up into a hug. He wanted to fall asleep next to Ash and wake up with his blonde head of hair resting on his chest, moving with the slow rise and fall of his breathing.   
  
Yutlung watched his friend, fighting back a smile at the dreamy look in his eyes. Eventually, however, he coughed in order to snap him out of it.   
  
“I like him too, Yue,” Eiji finally whispered, both hands gripping his half-drunk cocktail, all traces of intoxication gone.   
  
“I know, sweetheart,” Yutlung replied, just as soft. “Which is why I have an idea! From now on, you and I have study dates every Wednesday at the coffee shop near campus, that Banana Fish one.”   
  
Eiji knew the shop, it was a quaint store run by an interracial couple, one was quite honestly the largest man Eiji had ever met, with gigantic muscles he flaunted with his inclination towards vest tops, and the other was scrawny and pink-haired and practically lived-in dungarees. They weren’t that much older than Eiji himself, and they were nice to talk to, as well as excellent coffee makers.   
  
“How does that help me with Ash if I’m with you?” Eiji questioned, straight to the point.   
  
Yutlung sighed, irritated. “Be patient, Eiji,” He snapped. Eiji sat up straight at his tone, lips locking together. “I’m gonna invite Sing and, in turn, invite Ash and Shorter to these study dates. It’ll give you an excuse to see Ash without you having to awkwardly ask him yourself because I know you won’t.” Eiji slumped in on himself at that, he knew it was true. “And you’ll get to know him better if they happen every week. Who knows, he might ask to meet just you as well.”   
  
Eiji pondered the idea. It definitely would give him the chance to see Ash again, and he’d be with other people as well, so it wasn’t as intimidating as just being alone together again. It eased some of Eiji’s nerves, every time he thought about being alone with the boy, the memory (was it a memory? it was the only thing Eiji could relate it to) of them dancing in that fancy apartment flooded his brain, and with it, the hollow feeling in his chest. It almost made him feel like crying again, it felt as if his body was reaching out for something. And yet, despite the negative emotions, Eiji longed to see him again.   
  
“You’re a genius, Yue,” Eiji replied through a grin, knowing how much Yutlung loved flattery. As expected, the Chinese preened, before whipping out his phone so they could perfectly craft the message they were to send Sing   
  
——  
Ash, Sing, and Shorter were already at the coffee shop by the time Eiji and Yutlung arrived, bickering amongst each other. Beside him, Yutlung was smiling dopily at his boyfriend, at the way he reached over the table to smack Shorter on the head with a wad of paper but coughed and resumed his neutral expression when he saw Eiji grinning fondly at him.   
  
“Ei-chan!” Someone yelled from behind the counter. Four heads swiveled simultaneously towards the direction of the sound, the Fifth blonde head-turning to focus on Eiji instead.   
  
“Bones!” Eiji replied, waving at the pink-haired person manning the counter. He was rushing to meet them without a second thought, and Yutlung rolled his eyes before sauntering off to meet Sing. “How are you doing?” Eiji asked with a grin.   
  
“I’ve been good! business has been booming since people have been studying for the assessments due after Christmas,” They started. “And since we’re open quite late students come here for some late-night caffeine to keep them going.” Bones laughed, flashing their pointy canines. “Anyways, what can I getcha.”   
  
“Green tea please!” Eiji replied instantly. He looked over his shoulder to ask Yutlung what he would want but instead found him perched in Sing’s lap, fussing over the boy's short-cut hair. Shorter and Ash were staring at the couple with equal expressions of disgust. “And jasmine tea for Yue,” Eiji finally sighed. Bones’ cackle of a laugh continued as they prepped the tea’s, growing louder every time they looked up at the affectionate couple. Eiji found himself giggling along too, Bones’ laugh was contagious.   
  
Whilst he was waiting for the teas to brew and making small talk with Bones, Eiji felt that familiar prickle of eyes staring at him. Without a second thought, he whipped his head around to find Ash’s glare aimed in his direction, eyes squinted with malicious intent. Before he could be offended, however, he noticed that those piercing eyes were following Bones’ movements, eyes squinting even further whenever they struck up another conversation with Eiji.   
  
“All done, Ei-Chan,” Bones grinned at him as they passed two steaming cups of tea over the counter. Eiji bid his thanks before making his way towards the table, taking the only available seat - between Yutlung (who was finally in his own chair) and Shorter.   
  
“Ei-Chan?” Sing asked in lieu of a greeting.   
  
Eiji chuckled, looking down at the vibrant green liquid steaming in his cup. “When I came here the first time I was with Ibe, a family friend from Japan, and Bones overheard him calling me that as a nickname, so now that’s what they call me,” Eiji shrugged with a smile. He liked being called Ei-Chan, it reminded him of home.   
  
“It’s cute.” The table grew silent as they all looked towards Ash. He had blurted out the words without a second thought but was now sat there with wide eyes, coffee cup halfway towards his mouth. Eiji flushed at the compliment.   
  
The silence prolonged, stemming into the awkward stages, as the two blushing teenagers attempted to avoid eye contact. “Right!” Shorter finally announced, cutting the tension with a clap of his hands. “Are we actually gonna study now or what?”   
  
Eiji had initially planned to spend this study group actually getting work done. He still had numerous photos to edit and compile into his steadily growing portfolio, and he wanted to get it done before the holidays, but he found himself too distracted.   
  
Through astute observation, Eiji was able to conclude that Ash was a literature major. When they’d all started to take out their materials for studying, Ash had whipped out a - well-read - copy of “The Catcher in the Rye” and began scribbling notes into both the margin of the book and a scrap piece of paper he’d procured from his bag. Amidst all the fuss of everyone dragging items from their bags onto the round tabletop, Ash had put on some wire rimmed glasses that seemed to slip off his nose too often. Eiji found it far too endearing for his own good.   
  
Every time Eiji managed to focus his gaze onto his laptop, it would only take a few minutes for his wandering eyes to land on Ash’s hunched over the figure. He liked watching the way he’d switch between biting his lip and chewing the inside of his cheek as he concentrated, the long tresses of his blonde hair tickling his nose. He was incredibly pretty, Eiji thought, so incredibly pretty he couldn’t think straight.   
  
On more than one occasion Yutlung had to subtly kick him under the table, looking up from his intricate clothing designs with a pointed look. Every time, Eiji would flush tomato red and hurriedly look back at his (usually asleep) laptop.   
  
On more than one occasion, as well, Ash was already looking at him too. The first time, Eiji had flicked his eyes up from his computer screen to find Ash subtly looking at him through his fringe, his dainty and pale hand halfway through turning a dog-eared page. He’d caught an embarrassed flush adorn Ash’s cheeks from behind the blonde of his hair and smiled softly at him. After that first occasion, every time they caught each other staring, they would hold their gaze with more confidence, not hiding the longing in both their eyes.   
  
The group studied well into the evening, sometimes stopping to have short conversations or complain about the course they were on. As he had mentioned at the party, Sing was a business major, whilst Eiji learned today that Shorter studied animation and illustration. Around midday, Eiji sat, enraptured, as he watched some of Shorter’s animations and laughed at the pleased blush that would dust all over his face at any compliment Eiji gave him. At 3, Sing asked all of them to listen as he presented a speech he had to write for his class, and they all cheered when he managed to make it through the entire thing without stuttering or stumbling over any words. At 5, Yutlung asked Eiji for his opinion on his choice of fabrics and whether they clashed or complimented each other. Eiji had no clue how to answer, but Yutlung was sending him an expectant gaze so he rattled off a reply, trying to use as many of the keywords he’d heard Yutlung use in passing before. And at 7, they all declared they were hungry, tired, and fed up and thus called it a day.   
  
They packed up quickly, all eager to get back to their respective apartments to have a bite to eat, and Eiji was patiently waiting for Yutlung to finish packing up the scrap of materials he kept in his A2 folder when he felt a tap on his shoulder.   
  
He swiveled around, immediately brightening when he saw Ash standing behind him. He was fiddling with his fingers, and Eiji’s heart rate doubled when he jerked his head towards the exit. Ash was walking towards the door as soon as he gave the signal, and Eiji followed quickly after, this time not looking back to make sure Yutlung was okay. He had Sing, of course he would be.   
  
They stood outside the cafe, the yellow lighting seeping through the glass door being the only source of light against the darkness of the winter evening. Ash looked pretty in this light, his blonde hair looked more yellow and his startlingly white skin was basked in a golden glow.   
  
“Um, Eiji?” Ash finally started, words breaking in his throat around a whisper. He cleared his throat before speaking again, louder this time. “Eiji,” he stated confidently, eyes focusing directly on Eiji’s own with a burning intensity.   
  
Suddenly, Eiji realised they were alone, but it wasn’t as scary as Eiji thought. That hollow feeling in his chest didn’t rise again, in fact, he felt light and fluttery like butterflies were beating their wings inside his tummy. With a smile, Eiji nodded at Ash in encouragement.   
  
“Would you maybe want to go to the Cinema with me sometime?” Ash asked, eyes only straying momentarily from Eiji’s after he posed the question, but they returned with more determination than before.   
  
Eiji couldn’t stop the grin that practically split his face in half. Although theoretically, he knew Ash liked him, it was another thing entirely to have him actually ask Eiji out. “Ash, I would love to,” Eiji replied softly and felt his grin dampen into something fond when Ash positively glowed at his answer.   
  
“Okay!” Ash exclaimed excitedly. “Okay! I’ll meet you outside the Cinema in town this Saturday at like 8?” Eiji nodded in affirmation, a fond smile still adorning his features. Ash was still grinning, mumbling “great” over and over again under his breath, when Sing, Shorter and Yutlung burst through the swinging double doors.   
  
“Come on, lovebirds!” Shorter yelled from between Yutlung and Sing, arms draped over their shoulders. “Let’s get home so I can whip myself up some instant noodles, I’m fucking starving!”   
  
——  
The neon glow of the cinema sign stood stark against the winter sky as rain pummelled down from the thick clouds. Ash stood under the cover of the buildings’ overhanging rooftop, alternating between checking his phone and observing the area for any sign of Eiji.   
  
It was just before 8, but the December nights and the torrential weather meant it was pitch black already, only the gleam of flickering streetlights and glowing store signs lit the path.   
  
‘I really should’ve just picked him up,’ Ash thought, chewing his lip as he checked his phone yet again, just as he heard the sound of shoes slapping against the pavement. He looked up instantly, brightening when he saw Eiji running towards him, one hand holding an umbrella, the other keeping his coat hood on his head as he pushed against the harsh wind. Despite the flecks of the torrential downpour flying into his face, Eiji was grinning brightly from ear to ear.   
  
“Hi,” Ash greeted softly, voice barely audible over the harsh fall of rain.   
  
“Hi,” Eiji replied just as softly, grinning up at Ash once he joined him under the roof ledge. Despite both the coat hood and his umbrella, Eiji still managed to get his fringe wet, and it was sticking to his forehead, strands drying in adorable waves. Ash had half a mind to run his hands through the dark mop and push it off his forehead but managed to stop himself just in time. The rest of his face was red and blotchy, dotted with droplets of rain. He looked breathtakingly beautiful, and Ash felt his heart skip a beat at the sight.   
  
They quickly hurried inside together to avoid the cold and were enveloped instantaneously in heat, the heaters stationed above the doors sending warm gushes on wind onto new customers. Ash laughed as Eiji whipped off his coat hood and shook the wetness out of his hair like an adorable puppy.   
  
The cinema foyer was practically desolate minus a young couple and their son and the spotty teenager manning the tills who hadn’t lifted his gaze from his phone despite Ash and Eiji’s presence.   
  
Ash looked up at the electronic sign stationed above the tills, noting that most of them were reruns of well-known Christmas films. Considering it was the first week of December, however, Ash wasn’t too surprised. Besides him, though, Eiji let out an excited gasp.   
  
“They’re screening Love, Actually!” He whispered excitedly, grabbing Ash’s arm, and giving it a shake. He was grinning up at Ash now, hitting him with the puppy dog eyes and Ash realised at that moment alone he had one weakness, and it was Eiji pulling that look.   
  
“I’ve never seen it,” Ash shrugged in response, and Eiji took that as a ‘Yes, Eiji, of course we can watch your favourite Christmas film, I’d want nothing more’ and dragged him off towards the ticket booth. Ash was surprised, yet again, at how strong this small man actually was and felt himself grow hot at the thought.   
  
Eiji was the one who asked for the tickets as well as a large tub of popcorn, effectively pulling the teenager from his, almost hypnotised, gaze on his phone. The kid had greasy hair and shot Eiji a smirk which did not sit right with Ash, but he was quickly stepping in front of Eiji and paying before the teen could utter a single sleazy word towards the brunette. Eiji, in turn, complained to Ash all the way to their seats that he should’ve paid, but Ash paid him no mind as he thoughtlessly nibbled on a salty piece of popcorn.   
  
“I watch this movie every Christmas,” Eiji whispered to Ash as the trailers started rolling, and Ash saw the different obnoxious colours of the screen reflecting in the deep hue of Eiji’s irises.   
  
Ash shoved another piece of popcorn into his mouth, before sliding the tub along to Eiji in offering. “I didn’t know that Christmas was celebrated in Japan.”   
  
“It’s more for couples really,” Eiji explained around a handful of popcorn. Ash huffed out a fond chuckle at the sight of Eiji’s stuffed cheeks and Eiji pouted at him in indignation momentarily before gluing his eyes on the big screen once more. “But they still show Christmas films on some channels and I’ve always loved the feeling they give you. You know, like that warm and fuzzy feeling?”   
  
Ash understood where Eiji was coming from. Despite not having much money growing up, his older brother Griffin always tried to make his and Ash’s Christmas the best he possibly could. When Griffin was only a teenager working a minimum wage job, their Christmas’ consisted of watching movie after movie cuddled up together under the quilts they’d dragged from their bedrooms into the living room and although Ash couldn’t remember specifics of those festive days, as he was so young, the feelings of warmth and happiness would never be forgotten.   
  
Ash explained as such to Eiji, who finally tore his eyes from the screen to give him his full attention. The harsh blues and whites of the big screen were reflecting on the side of Eiji’s face, and he still managed to look beautiful in such awful lighting. “How have you never seen Love, Actually before, then?” Eiji questioned, confused.   
  
Ash shrugged, “It wasn’t one that appealed to us, I guess.” Eiji sent him one last look before the film started, grinning as he gripped the arm of his chair (dangerously close to Ash’s hand).   
  
Ash would be lying if he said he managed to watch the film. It was funny and sweet but wasn’t enough to keep his attention for long when there was an even sweeter boy beside him. Without even noticing himself, Ash’s eyes would wander over to look at Eiji, opting to watch the film through the reflected colours on his wide, glistening eyes.   
  
Eiji was enraptured throughout the whole thing, mindlessly shoving popcorn into his mouth without once taking his eyes off the screen (Ash would know, he’d practically watched him the whole film).   
  
And yet, despite not taking in enough information to give a linear recount of what ‘Love, Actually’ was really about, Ash could confirm with his whole heart that it was the best movie he had ever seen.   
  
Eiji started rambling excitedly the second they left the viewing room, recounting his favourite parts and asking for Ash’s opinion. Ash gave back short answers, smiling all the while as Eiji was too distracted by informing Ash on little tidbits and facts about the film to notice his half-assed replies.   
  
It was still raining by the time they left the cinema, but not as drastically as it had previously. Just enough that an umbrella was definitely needed, which, coincidentally, Ash did not have.   
  
“We can share mine?” Eiji suggested shyly, the confidence he had when ranting about the film disappearing.   
  
“Only if you let me walk you home,” Ash bargained. He’d spent only two- and a bit hours in Eiji’s presence and his heart, brain, soul was craving more. And who was he to deny his body of such desires? Eiji grinned before nodding, and they both hobbled their way down the street under the protection of a singular umbrella.   
They chatted with the ease of friends who had known each other their whole lives, and the familiarity Ash felt with Eiji made him think that maybe they in fact had. They joked and teased easily all the way back to Eiji’s apartment, and Ash allowed himself to brush a hand against Eiji’s now and again, pretending he was just slightly wobbly on his feet. And every single time shocks of warmth would shoot up his arm and butterflies would flap their wings in his stomach.   
  
Eiji’s apartment came into view far quicker than Ash had anticipated and soon Eiji was stopping and turning towards him. “This is me,” he spoke, and Ash was almost certain he heard a twinge of disappointment in his voice.   
  
“Well,” Ash began, awkward in a way they hadn’t been since they left the cinema. “Goodnight then, Eiji.”   
  
“Goodnight, Ash,” Eiji responded, and Ash was slowly becoming addicted to the way his name sounded on Eiji’s foreign tongue.   
  
Neither of them moved at first, but then Ash saw Eiji hesitate before he was lifting up on his tiptoes and placing a chaste kiss on Ash’s cheek. Eiji’s lips were chapped and dry from the biting cold, but they felt like the softest thing as they pressed against Ash’s blotchy red cheek, and Ash felt himself subconsciously raise a hand to delicately touch the point of contact.   
  
Before Ash could say anything, however, Eiji was passing Ash his umbrella and running towards his apartment. “You can return it to me later!” He explained, before disappearing behind the burgundy door, golden knocker clanging loudly against the silent street.   
  
Ash took a couple of seconds to collect himself, before he let out a loud laugh in disbelief, feeling giddy from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.   
  
He had to stop himself from skipping the rest of the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos if you can spot Max, Jessica, and Michael hidden in this chapter ;)


	3. Chapter Three - Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally pluck up the courage

The flight from New York to Tokyo was just as tedious and boring as the first time he took it. As he was by himself, he had no one to talk to, and the bulky man with brunette hair tied in a low ponytail didn’t seem like the sort of person to make meaningless conversation for 15 hours. Instead, Eiji took to watching the vast array of films the airplane company had to offer, falling into short, restless naps every now again, his dreams full of flashes of blonde and stories of pumpkins - a strange mix if he really thought about it. All the while, his fingers itched to reach for his phone.   
  
You see, ever since their cinema date, he and Ash had texted and chatted pretty much constantly. In the two weeks before the Christmas holidays, they met up frequently, either to catch a quick bite to eat together or wander around campus. As Yutlung had planned, Him, Eiji, Ash, Shorter, and Sing met up both weeks for a group study session, and Ash and Eiji spent half that time giggling and chatting (much to the chagrin of the rest of the group, who genuinely took the time to study). All in all, Ash and Eiji had managed to get impossibly close in just a few weeks, and Eiji could safely say what he felt for Ash now was more than a crush.   
  
He’d gotten past the awkward blushy phase of their interactions (although Ash still managed to say things that made him feel so comfortably warm) and now it felt like he’d known him forever. There was no hesitation when he teased Ash, both verbally and physically, and Ash responded in kind just as confidently. They interacted like long-term best friends, but with more lingering touches and longing gazes.   
  
Eiji always kissed Ash’s cheek after he’d drop him off back home, so much so that Ash had started to expect it, subconsciously turning his cheek towards Eiji as they parted ways. Of course, Eiji teased him about it, pretending that he was going to leave Ash standing on the pavement without a goodbye kiss, but the second he saw Ash’s disappointed gaze he dropped all games and brushed his lips lightly against Ash’s porcelain skin. At this point, he was addicted to the way the flesh would heat up under the pressure of Eiji’s kisses.   
  
Now, however, they had to spend 2 weeks apart as they were both headed home for the Christmas Holidays. Ash had told Eiji that he only had to travel to Cape Cod, which wasn’t too far from New York, and he was spending it with his brother, Griffin. Despite not celebrating Christmas themselves, Eiji’s sister - Ena - had practically begged him to come home, promising that their dad would cover the cost of travel. Eiji was almost certain that their dad hadn’t agreed to that before Ena told him, but who was he to question a free flight.   
  
He barely had time to breathe once he left the flight and ran to catch the train from Tokyo to Izumo. It was another 12-hour journey, and already nightfall, but Eiji was determined to get home as quickly as possible. Despite how much he liked the parts of New York he’d been able to see in his short stay there, he missed the humbleness of his hometown, with its rolling green hills and tall temples of worship. Plus, he missed not having to think so hard before uttering a sentence, having to mentally translate everything in nanoseconds before he could speak. English was exhausting, and the change to his native tongue would be welcomed. Even the snippets of Japanese he’d heard already didn’t sound right, it didn’t have the dialect he’d grown up speaking.   
  
As he settled into his carriage on the train, he finally turned on his phone and was immediately flooded with notifications. Shorter had made a group chat for everyone, and it was definitely their main source of communication. Shorter, Sing and Ash would send meme after meme to each other, whilst Eiji and Yutlung stuck to insulting their comedic preference. As well as the group chat, Eiji received numerous texts from Ash only, informing him about his own travels outside of New York City. Eiji felt his smile grow wider and wider as he worked his way through every message.   
  
_I have no clue why Griffin made me wake up so early when he isn’t even gonna be here until 1  
I’m not even kidding Eiji, I can barely keep my eyes open rn  
how the fuck are you a morning person this is horrific_   
  
Eiji giggled at the mental image of Ash fighting to keep his eyes open, yawning as a balled fist rubbed at them. He looked a bit like a grumpy, blonde kitten in Eiji’s head.   
  
_We’re on the road!  
I told Griffin that love, actually is your favourite Christmas film and he says I’m not allowed to talk to you any more  
good thing I rarely do what he says  
but seriously, I have to educate you on the art of good Christmas films. You need to come join me and Griff one year, then you’ll experience enlightenment_  
  
Eiji felt his stomach flutter at the thought. He knew that, in America, Christmas was all about family, and the fact Ash even thought of inviting Eiji over made it feel like he was already considered a part of his family. The thought made him lightheaded.   
  
_Oh god Griffin’s singing now  
He tried to hit the Mariah Carey high note and I’m pretty sure my eardrums just burst   
HE’S STILL GOING   
Maybe I should’ve gone with you to Japan, that way I could’ve avoided going deaf_   
  
Eiji laughed out loud to himself, feeling lucky that he was in an empty compartment. He could imagine Ash’s loud complaints as his brother sang loudly, channeling the Christmas joy. From the pictures of Griffin Eiji had seen, he could imagine the man doing just that. His eyes looked soft and friendly, but also mischievous enough to know what buttons to push and when - a little like himself when he thought about it.   
  
_I just realised that this is probably gonna be really annoying to read through when you land  
message me when you’re in Japan safe, please  
I’m in Cape Cod now btw_  
  
That was the last message Ash had sent, roughly 6 hours ago. Eiji hurriedly typed out his own message, letting Ash know he was on the train back to his hometown, and the reply he received was instantaneous.   
  
_He’s alive!_   
  
They sent messages back and forth from that point onwards, making up for the hours of radio silence. Eiji also messaged the group chat after Ash reminded him and received an array of enthusiastic responses to his safe travels.   
  
They continued to exchange messages until the small hours of the morning, and Eiji fell asleep in his train compartment happy and content.  
  
——  
Eiji was exhausted by the time he finally entered the threshold of his family home. His mother wasn’t present (which wasn’t uncommon), but Ena and his father hurried him into the kitchen for a home-cooked meal before he barely even managed to get his shoes off.   
  
He enjoyed the meal, Ena had gotten even better at cooking in the time he was gone, and he savoured all the flavours he could. Even if he made these dishes in America, they never quite tasted the same, everything just had that slight twinge of being artificial. They bombarded Eiji with questions about University and life in New York City, and although it was easier to finally be talking in Japanese, Eiji’s worn out brain was struggling to keep up with the conversation.   
  
Eiji’s mum walked in just as they were finishing up dinner, and they all grew silent even though the only acknowledgment Eiji got from her was a small look as she served up her own portion of rice and marinated meat before stalking off to her bedroom. A twinge of hurt came over Eiji as he watched her retreat upstairs, but a bigger part of him had long since come to terms with their distant relationship. She was simply his mother by name, not by action. Besides, he had his dad and Ena, which was more than enough.   
  
“So,” Eiji’s dad started, ripping through the silence caused by their mum’s arrival. “Have you made any friends yet?”   
  
Ena let out a sharp laugh before Eiji even had time to respond. “It’s Eiji, of course he hasn’t,” She was still laughing, right up until Eiji smacked her around the back of the head.   
  
“I have actually,” He grumbled, but smiled smugly as his sister rubbed at her head with a scowl. “quite a few.”   
  
They all crowded around Eiji’s phone as he showed them picture after picture of his friends. He laughed when Ena let out an audible gasp when Yutlung appeared, laughing harder as she furiously smacked his arm, exclaiming how beautiful he was. His dad chuckled when he showed them a picture of Sing and Shorter posing in front of a wall they’d spray painted. He wasn’t there when that had happened, it was posted in the group chat by Ash, and he informed his dad as such, but he still jokingly warned him to stay out of trouble. He hesitated on a picture he had taken of Ash, a candid shot that was slightly blurry and the quality was definitely subpar for a photography student, but it was one of the most beautiful Eiji had taken. Ash was laughing in it, gazing over his shoulder at Eiji as he pointed to something out of shot. His hair was tousled and damp by the wind and light rain, and his jean jacket was darker on the shoulders too.   
  
“He’s very pretty,” Ena whispered softly, noticing Eiji’s hesitation to swipe to the next picture.   
  
“He is,” Eiji whispered in reply, looking up to find his sister smiling at him softly, knowingly. He smiled back.   
  
Eiji’s Christmas went by in a blur. He, Ena, and their Father visited numerous places around Izumo on day trips out, went to temples to pray, and had lengthy discussions and good-natured arguments over dinner. Christmas day was spent like any other, except they all sat in the living room and watched movies the channels had to offer. Ena asked Eiji numerous questions whenever New York City would appear in the Christmas films (which was often), asking if he had been to this particular place or seen this particular street, but Eiji had just thrown a burnt piece of popcorn at her instead of answering instead. And like any other day, Eiji’s mum was missing throughout the majority of it. He had a vague idea as to where she was going, considering Christmas was meant for couples of course, but he tried not to dwell on it too long. Especially when his dad would grow withdrawn and sad after gazing at the front door for too long.   
  
The only part of his trip back home that wasn’t perfect was that he missed Ash, excruciating amounts. Each day he’d wake up and have to remind himself that Ash wasn’t a 5-minute walk away, and instead, he could only send a text message to him halfway around the globe. Even when they phoned, the longing in his chest didn’t ease up and instead began to throb painfully as it recognised Ash’s sweet tones but knew that he wasn’t close enough to reach out and touch.   
  
He’d had more dreams as well, and each time he woke up with an overwhelming feeling of sadness so strong it took all his strength to push himself out of bed for the day. He’d only remember flashes once his eyes opened, flashes of a sobbing blonde in his lap and the feeling that, somehow, he’d lost someone. The feeling would subside slightly when he’d automatically reach out to his nightstand for his phone to send Ash a good morning text, and yet the dull pain of longing persisted throughout his 2 weeks at home.   
  
——  
White, hot anger coursed through his veins as he reached for the gun stashed in the front of his jeans. He sent a shot, immediately knocking one man out as it landed perfectly between his eyes. The other coward shot out and ran, but Ash’s reflexes were just as quick. Despite the new bullet hole, he chased the man and unloaded all his bullets into his pathetic excuse for a body. Someone was screaming, begging for him to stop, but through gritted teeth and dilated pupils, he persisted, shooting until his gun was empty.   
  
In the next breath, he was running back to where he’d come from, angry tears forming in his eyes. Inside, he found his boy, his beautiful boy, wounded, his head pillowed on Jessica’s thighs. Anger was replaced by complete despair as he gazed down at Eiji, his usually coffee toned skin deathly pale and his brown orbs shut.   
  
His wound was screaming out at him, but the mental pain he felt was so much more excruciating, and he knelt to be at level with his lover.   
  
“Eiji,” He breathed, frantic. “Eiji,” he repeated his name, he probably repeated it numerous times more, but everything was background noise to the voices in his head.   
  
_’He’s dead. He took a bullet for you and now he’s dead. You killed him’_  
  
Despair was replaced by guilt, and he whispered Eiji’s name once more before those beautiful eyes scrunched up in pain and fluttered open to meet his gaze.   
  
“Ash,” Eiji rasped, his accent just as strong as it was the first time they’d met. Ash nodded once in affirmation, teeth grinding. “You’re safe,” He was slurring, and Ash felt fear like no other shoot through him. “Good.” And with that, his eyes shut once more.   
  
Ash was screaming, he could feel it in the way it ripped through his throat, screaming for the boy whose life was dangling on a knife's edge. Screaming for the boy who’d saved him. Screaming for the boy he’d killed.   
  
——  
The first thing Ash noticed when he woke up was that he was crying. It wasn’t audible, there were not sobs rising up through his throat, but salty tears streamed from his eyes and onto the pillow beneath him. He didn’t even remember why he was crying, but an overwhelming feeling of guilt was suffocating him so much he felt close to vomiting. He managed to turn his head sideways towards his clock, taking in the bright red flashing numbers that read 6:23, before his bedroom door was flung open.   
  
“Merry Christmas, Aslan!” Griffin shouted, making his voice purposely low to match the Santa Claus costume he was wearing. Despite himself, Ash gave a watery smile.   
  
“It’s too early for your shitty Santa impressions, Griff,” Ash replied, playing off wiping away his tears with scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes.   
  
Griffin merely gave an offended noise, before plonking himself down onto Ash’s bed and handing him a neatly wrapped present. Ash could already tell by the shape of it that his present was a book of some kind. He bit back a smile; Griffin was ever so predictable.   
  
“Go on,” His brother prompted with a grin, pushing forward his present again. Ash gave a playful huff before he began picking apart the cello tape from the wrapping paper. Griffin gave an annoyed groan, “Why do you always open your presents in the most ridiculous way possible? Just rip it for fucks sake.”   
  
Ash grinned as he continued to open his gift at a snail’s pace and snatched the present back with a cackle as Griffin tried to grab it and rip it open himself. Eventually, though, Ash had successfully opened his gift, only to find a sleek, brand new copy of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ now sat in his lap.   
  
“What the fuck, Griffin,” Ash exclaimed as his older brother wheezed beside him. He was biting back his own laugh at the sound of his brothers; it had always been contagious.   
  
“You’re a literature student so I assumed you’d want books for Christmas!” Griffin explained as he continued to cackle, delighted at his gift. Eventually, however, he managed to calm himself down until he was panting. Ash was scowling at him deeply. “I got you a real present, don’t worry.” Griffin stood up and ruffled Ash’s hair, smiling with mock sweetness as Ash glared up at him through his messed-up hair. “Come downstairs for breakfast in 5 and I’ll give it to you then. I’m making croissants.”   
  
Ash’s real present turned out to be a new denim jacket with a couple of patches from his favourite bands for him to sew on when he had the time. Ash, himself, had bought Griffin his favourite bottle of Whiskey along with a new glass (and expertly avoided the questions as to how his 18-year-old self had managed to get his hands on alcohol), and they cracked it open after breakfast before they settled into their usual routine of grabbing their duvets and crashing on the sofa with bowls of crisps and drinks and the same Christmas films they watched every year without fail.   
  
“So Eiji’s favourite Christmas film really is Love, Actually?” Griffin questioned halfway through ‘Elf’; his hand stuffed down a Pringles tube.   
  
“Yep,” Ash replied, popping the p before shoving a handful of cheese balls into his mouth. Etiquette and manners were all but lost when it came to Christmas with his brother. “He told me when we went to the Cinema together.”   
  
“Together, huh,” Griffin repeated absentmindedly, but Ash knew what he meant by that. He felt himself grow cold with sweat as he watched his brothers' reaction out of the corner of his eye. When Ash figured out he was bisexual, he never really told anyone, he just started talking about how nice boys were to look at with his friends and that was that they never questioned it. He never really had the opportunity to do that with Griffin and, despite being so comfortable and open with his sexuality now, Ash was still afraid that his brother would have a negative reaction.   
  
“That’s nice.” Ash felt like a literal weight had been lifted off his shoulders when Griffin spoke those words, turning towards Ash with an accepting smile. Ash sent his own shaky smile back, feeling his hands begin to tremble as the adrenaline that had built up over those few seconds of silence began to dissipate at an alarmingly fast rate.   
  
The rest of the day was spent, mainly, in a comfortable silence as they made their way through the movies. Despite having watched these films 20 times over, they both commented on different scenes and elements, making fun of the cast, or telling an anecdote the other had most definitely heard before. Ash also spent the majority of the day sending texts back and forth between him and Eiji. Despite the 14-hour time difference, they still managed to message each other frequently enough, even if it meant Ash fucked up his sleeping schedule.   
  
That didn’t matter that much to him really, however. Since he’d been home, he’d had frequent dreams that left him in a similar state as the one Christmas morning. Whenever he closed his eyes, flashes of crimson and the sounds of guns and foreign words would flood his senses, and every time he’d find himself choking on his breath, gasping for air.   
  
The images he’d see were so familiar, and yet he knew they hadn’t happened to him. Still, all these thoughts didn’t seem to be from movies or books, they seemed like his own memories. Decayed enough that he couldn’t quite reach them, but still present enough to evoke such strong emotions in him. It was so frustrating, not knowing where they were coming from or why they were even happening to him.   
  
They made him miss Eiji, though. He already knew before he packed up for Cape Cod for the holidays that he would miss Eiji, but he didn’t think it’d be this much. He missed his laugh, his smile, the kisses he’d leave on his cheeks, but above all, he missed how being close to Eiji made him feel.   
  
It was like he was complete, which was stupid because Ash had never felt like he was broken or like something was missing. But with Eiji, it was like everything fell into place and Ash had finally become the person he’d been made to be. It was exhilarating, being with Eiji was like the feeling after winning a race or jumping from a high place. It made Ash so incredibly giddy, and he’d realised he was falling in love with him.   
  
The realisation didn’t seem to shock him as much as he thought it would. It just seemed like a fact, as solid as the knowledge that the sun would rise in the morning. Ash was falling in love with Eiji, and it felt so beautiful.   
  
——   
  
By the time Eiji had made it back to New York City after the holidays, the layers upon layers of snow that had built up had turned into an amalgamation of sludge, grit, and trash. The weather was still horrible - dark, wet skies - and yet Eiji smiled the whole cab journey from the airport to his tiny apartment.   
  
It had been nice to be home, but Eiji had missed the hustle and bustle of New York City, the quietness from Izumo had actually made it hard to sleep - he’d grown accustomed to falling asleep to blaring horns and shouts from the streets below.   
  
His apartment was bitingly cold when he stepped into the dark room, and he grit his teeth against the chill as he slid off his shoes, before finally switching on the light.   
  
And promptly jumping out of his skin as he saw Yutlung sat, prim, proper, and grinning, on his sofa.   
  
“Jesus Christ Yue,” Eiji shouted, his luggage falling to the floor with more force than intended “How the fuck did you get in here?” His hand was pressed against his chest and he could feel the erratic pumps of his heart beneath his fingertips.   
  
Yutlung tutted. “Language.” Eiji merely scowled at his friend. “Anyway, you gave Sing a key so he could water your plants, remember? So I stole it to surprise you!” And Eiji did remember. After their final coffee shop study date, Eiji had entrusted his spare key to Sing, who was the only one of the group who planned to stay on campus for Christmas.   
  
“I will make sure those plants survive even if it’s the last thing I do, Eiji,” Sing had said with so much honest determination it made Eiji smile fondly at the boy.   
  
Eiji looked around his room as he remembered and, luckily, Sing had stuck to his promise. All his plants were still a lush green and a couple had even grown a few extra sprouts since the last time he’d seen them.   
  
“Next time please warn me, you almost gave me a heart attack!” Eiji scolded, but graciously excepted the hug from Yutlung after he stood up from the sofa with outstretched arms. He immediately fell into it, comforted by the smell of his best friend's shampoo. With his brain so occupied with missing Ash, he’d completely overlooked how much he’d missed Yutlung too.   
  
“Where’s the fun in that?” Yutlung replied mischievously, pulling back to plant a smacking kiss on Eiji’s forehead. Eiji stuck his tongue out in disgust with a laugh as he wiped the remanence of Yutlung’s kiss away. “Anyway, I came to say that we’re all meeting up for another study date tomorrow, which means we’ll probably just be chatting for a few hours and giving Bones and Kong our money.”   
  
“Couldn’t you have just sent this in the group chat?” Eiji asked as he finally sat down on his sofa, sighing deeply as his aching muscles from sitting in train seats to plane seats and then cab seats finally got to relax against something that didn’t feel like leaning on wood. Yutlung just waved him off as an answer, but Eiji felt a smile tug on his lips as he figured out the real reason for Yutlung’s presence. He had simply missed Eiji.   
  
“Ooh!” Yutlung exclaimed, changing the subject. “Guess what mum got me for Christmas!”  
  
——  
Ash didn’t really know why they decided to have a study date the day before the Christmas Holidays officially ended, but he still dragged himself to the, now familiar, coffee shop, and tried not to be too excited at the prospect of seeing Eiji again.   
  
This time, Eiji and Yutlung were at the coffee shop before Ash, Shorter and Sing arrived, and they were both laughing about something under the yellow glow of a flickering, hanging light. Rain pattered against the window, creating streaks against the glass, but it was only a small shower that indicated the end of the previously pummelling downpour.   
  
Sing didn’t hesitate before going to greet Yutlung, and Ash had to stop an endeared smile at the pure excitement that seemed to wrap around Sing once his boyfriend turned to acknowledge him fully. They were kissing sweetly before either of them got to exchange any words.   
  
“God I can’t wait until they’re out of the honeymoon phase,” Shorter quipped from beside him, and they both snickered as they made their way to the table, Ash naturally taking a seat next to Eiji.   
  
Despite Ash’s excitement and nerves at the prospect of seeing Eiji again, they both immediately exchanged bright grins and fell back into the teasing banter they had developed before the holidays easily.   
  
“I got you a black coffee, three sugars of course,” Eiji teased with a cheeky wink, pushing over a steaming cardboard cup, which Ash graciously accepted.   
  
“You know me so well,” Ash replied back, smiling over the brim of his cup. He remembered the first time Eiji had decided to buy him a drink during one of these group study dates, and, despite Ash not telling him anything about his preference, he got it spot on the first time.   
  
Despite all of them bringing the items needed to study, no one bothered to actually try working, and instead, they spent numerous hours filling each other in on their two weeks away. Shorter had spent the holidays with his sister, Nadia, and her boyfriend, Charlie, and complained dramatically about being the third wheel the whole time. Yutlung has spent it with his mum in Hong Kong, and they’d spent the time spending ridiculous amounts of money. Sing spent Christmas with Cain at the orphanage and shared stories about all the young kids there, and Eiji spoke fondly of all the films he’d watched with his sister and dad. Ash told his own story about Griffin and his ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ prank and had to physically slap Shorter round the head to get him to tone his laughter down.   
  
It was nice, catching up with everyone after two weeks of just him, his brother, and the loneliness of Cape Cod, and just being beside Eiji made him feel more at ease than he had his entire time away. His presence comforted him so much it was akin to being embraced lovingly, continuously. Eventually though, like all their study sessions, it came to an end.   
  
Yutlung and Sing had already left together, opting to get a bite to eat in China Town, and Shorter was following soon after when Ash felt himself speak up.   
  
“I don’t have to go home yet, Eiji.” The words tumbled out before he even had time to think about them more, but it felt right. He had gone two long weeks without him, and his body was yearning to be close to him more.   
  
“Neither do I,” Eiji replied, and they both smiled at each other, deciding through non-verbal communication to stay together a little longer.   
  
When they exited the coffee shop the sun was setting. Despite the damp floors, the clouds had dissipated quite a bit after the rainfall, giving way to the winter sun to peek through. The sunsets in January weren’t as incredible as the ones in Spring or Summer, but the bitter cold that accompanied it had some charm.   
  
“You know,” Eiji started as they began a leisurely stroll, occasionally bumping into each other with how close they were. “Despite being in New York City for a couple of months, I haven’t actually managed to see much of it, just everything in the main campus.”   
  
Ash hummed in acknowledgment, nodding his head. Ash knew this city like the back of his hand, it was his second home after Cape Cod. An idea struck him suddenly, and he turned to Eiji with a determined grin. “Keep your eye out for bikes.”   
  
“Wh-“ Eiji started, thoroughly confused before Ash picked up the pace and frantically searched the streets. After a few minutes, Ash found what he was looking for - a blue bike lent against the fence of someone’s home.   
  
“They make this so easy,” Ash commented as he noticed the bike wasn’t even tied to anything - they had far too much trust in the New York City population. Mounting the bike, he turned around to Eiji with a smile. “Hop on!”   
  
Eiji only hesitated momentarily, before he hurried over to Ash and the bike, settling so he was standing on the bike pegs and his hands were gripping Ash’s shoulders.   
  
It took a moment for Ash to adjust due to the extra weight and move the pedals with his foot to get them in the correct position to push off, and in that time, the front door of the house in which the bike was from had slammed open.   
  
“Hey!” A chubby kid, around 13, yelled from the doorway. As he began running towards them, Ash started adjusting the bike at a much more frantic speed, swearing profusely under his breath. Despite everything, Eiji felt himself laughing giddily as they finally pushed off. “That’s my fucking bike!”   
  
They were already speeding off down the road once the kid got to the front of their yard, and Ash felt Eiji’s hands grip tighter on his shoulders as he laughed gleefully behind him. He could imagine the excited flush on his cheeks as the bitter cold whipped against him, his hair being pushed back, and it made his stomach flutter.   
  
One second he was peddling away from an angry child on his bike, and the next he was sat in the passenger seat of a car, the grip of hands slowly slipping from him as the person in the drivers’ seat slammed on the accelerator.   
  
Eiji was the one sat in the driver’s seat, and he felt a feeling of shock come over him as this usually timid boy was glaring determinedly out of the window, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white.   
  
He felt himself swerve as he was suddenly thrust back into the present but managed to stay on course without neither him nor Eiji falling from the bike. He blinked a few times, his eyebrows drawing together as he thought over what he had just seen. It felt like a memory, except he and Eiji had never been in a car together, but there was no way he could’ve imagined something so detailed. Even the feelings from the memory lingered - Surprise, amusement, and the tingling feeling of attraction.   
  
“So what are we gonna do now?” Eiji asked, snapping Ash from his reverie. He felt himself grinning despite his confused thoughts.   
  
“I’m giving you the Ash Lynx tour of New York City,” He exclaimed, raising his hands of the handlebars in flourish. Eiji screamed behind him as the bike swerved yet again, and he wrapped his arms around Ash’s neck in order to stop himself from falling. Ash let out a full-bellied laugh as he placed his hands back on the handlebars but noticed Eiji’s arms stayed wrapped around him.   
  
Ash took Eiji to all his favourite places, finding the cycling much easier once they exited the rougher areas of New York City. The sun had long since set, but Ash had always found the city prettier at nightfall, with the way lights would twinkle under the navy of the sky. Each square of light that would illuminate from the numerous apartments was a family with their own stories and problems, it was something quite beautiful to think about.   
  
They cycled past Central Park, the Hudson River, and the Public Library, Ash giving his own commentary on the places as he put on a strong New York accent to imitate the tour guides, much to Eiji’s amusement. By the time it was too cold to cycle for any longer, Eiji had felt like he’d seen more than enough of the great New York City, he just wished he had his camera with him.   
  
After Ash dumped the bike along a busy pathway, Eiji told him as such.   
  
“I’ll have to give you another tour sometime when you have it with you,” Ash simply replied as they began their walk back to Eiji’s apartment. It was unofficially agreed that, after every date, Ash would walk Eiji back home as it was on the way to his own apartment. Neither of them minded one bit.   
  
“I’d like that, Ash,” Eiji replied softly, lifting his gaze from the pavement to smile slightly at Ash. Ash simply reached out and grabbed Eiji’s hand, surprising both of them with his own confidence, but Eiji was the one to maneuver their grip so that their fingers were intertwined. Their joined hands swung back and forth between them as they walked, the point of contact growing hot and sweaty, chatting easily like always.   
  
And, like always, they reached Eiji’s apartment far sooner than either of them would have hoped. It seemed as if every time Ash walked Eiji back, his home would grow closer and closer.   
  
“This is me,” Eiji spoke, reminiscent of their first date. Ash smiled as he caught the reference.   
  
“Goodnight then, Eiji,” Ash continued in kind and felt those butterflies flapping their wings in his stomach as he anticipated what was to come next. Eiji always gave him a kiss on the cheek after Ash dropped him home - without fail.   
  
This time, however, Eiji was bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet, a pretty blush overcoming his face. Just as Ash was about to say something, Eiji leaned in for the kiss.   
  
Accept Eiji’s kiss did not land on his cheek. It landed on his lips.   
  
Ash didn’t have time to fully process what was happening before Eiji was pulling away and, despite his blush, he was smiling sweetly up at Ash, chocolate eyes connecting with jade.   
  
Ash, however, felt like he was short-circuiting. It was only a peck, barely a brush of two lips together, and yet it sent a fire through him like no other. He felt alight, heat coursing through his body from the tips of his fingers to the tips of his toes. He’d never felt anything like it before, but it was the most addicting feeling in the world. He wanted more, he _needed_ more.   
  
“Goodnight, Ash.” Eiji was speaking before Ash even had time to collect his thoughts, but Ash instinctively grabbed Eiji by the wrist as the boy went to turn away.   
  
“Will you be my boyfriend?” The worlds tumbled out quicker than expected, but Ash was never more sure of anything in his life. He wanted to have the privilege to call Eiji his, his boyfriend, his lover, and to spend his days cuddling and kissing him. Suddenly, any other want or need seemed minuscule in comparison.   
  
Eiji’s eyes widened before they disappeared completely behind the crinkle of a megawatt smile. It was the most beautiful sight, and Ash felt his breath stutter in his chest. “I would like nothing more.”   
  
Ash, too, was smiling now, and the next thing he knew Eiji’s arms were wrapped around his neck and he was being pulled into another kiss.   
  
Their lips slotted together as if they had been designed to be that way, and Ash wrapped his own arms around Eiji’s slim waist to pull him even closer. The kiss was more than a peck but still just as innocent, and Eiji’s lips still tasted vaguely like the caramel macchiato he had had at the coffee shop. It was wonderful and sweet, and Ash wanted to taste it from him for the rest of his life.   
  
When they finally pulled apart, Ash found himself subconsciously leaning towards Eiji’s lips once more, chasing the feeling, but managed to stop himself just in time. Eiji was no better though, his eyes were trained on Ash’s red lips, his own looking plump and juicy. Now Ash had had a taste of paradise, he could do nothing to hold himself back for more.   
  
They fell into each other once more, their lips moving frantically against each other this time. Ash felt Eiji hum against him as Ash’s arms drew him impossibly closer, and the feeling of the noise vibrating against Ash’s own lips was intoxicating.   
  
“We should stop.” Eiji was the one to draw them apart this time, panting as he tried to catch all the breath he’d lost in the time they were kissing.   
  
“But I wanna kiss my boyfriend more,” Ash teased, smiling down at Eiji as they leaned their foreheads against each other. Eiji let out a giddy giggle at the sentence, and Ash simply pressed a kiss to the tip of his red nose.   
  
Kissing Eiji Okumura was almost as exhilarating as calling him his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was by far my favourite chapter to write so I hope you've all enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter Four - Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight time skip

Two months with Ash went by in a haze of perfection. There was no awkwardness as they crossed the boundary from friends to lovers, they fell comfortably into each other and didn’t feel the need to hesitate when going in for a hug or a kiss. It seemed as if they were both in sync, they knew exactly what was needed and when. Eiji could say without a doubt that it was the best two months of his life.  
  
At the end of said two months was Sing’s 19th birthday and, despite everyone assuming he was going to host another massive house party for the occasion, he simply invited Yutlung and Eiji to Sing, Shorter and Ash’s shared apartment, with the insistence that they both bring as much alcohol as they possibly could.  
  
Yutlung, determined not to let his boyfriend down, was currently standing in front of Eiji’s apartment dressed in yet another crop top and jeans, and bags full of alcohol.  
  
“This image is becoming too frequent of an occurrence,” Eiji commented as he let the boy in. They had both agreed to arrive at Sing’s house together, much like the first time they went around the trio’s apartment.  
  
“We’re uni students, Eiji, we’re supposed to live off cup noodles and vodka,” Yutlung retorted, picking a stray bobble off his white knit crop top and pulled the sleeves to cover his hands. Eiji smirked, knowing Yutlung was only dressed this way because he knew Sing liked it, even though the weather was far too cold to be flaunting his flat stomach. “You ready to go yet, sweetheart?”  
  
They walked briskly to the trio’s apartment in an attempt to get out of the cold. It was the beginning of March and, despite Spring flaunting itself in the blooming flowers and green tree’s in the daytime, nights were still bitingly cold. Luckily, they had both memorised this walk so intricately they could do it blind by now.  
  
Yutlung rapped on the door with obnoxious confidence, wrapping his arms around himself in protection against the cold. This time, Ash was the one to open the door, and he smiled fondly down at Eiji once his gaze fell upon him.  
  
Yutlung was already storming inside, murmuring something about ‘lovesick idiots’ and ‘it’s too cold for this’ and, despite bashing against Ash on his way out, Ash’s gaze did not stray from Eiji’s.  
  
“You look very handsome,” Eiji commented softly, taking in Ash’s appearance. He was wearing a fitted long-sleeved black shirt with his usual ripped blue jeans and, although Eiji had seen him wear this same outfit numerous times, Ash also had wire-framed glasses perched on his nose to accompany it. He had been wearing them more often after Eiji commented on how attractive he thought Ash looked in them, and it made Eiji smile at the thought of Ash wearing them just for him.  
  
“So do you,” Ash replied, matching Eiji’s softness. Eiji gazed down at himself, taking in his blue, white, and red striped jumper and khaki trousers, and wondered how Ash thought he looked good in such an outfit. Yutlung had even called it an abomination before they’d left the house. “I’m not joking, I think you look gorgeous,” Ash continued, somehow sensing what Eiji was thinking. Eiji rolled his eyes and huffed in order to hide the blush steadily growing on his cheeks and pushed at Ash’s chest so he could enter the apartment.  
  
They entered the living room to find Sing and Yutlung sat beside each other chatting as they sipped on their drinks (they’d finally gotten over the honeymoon phase, thank god) and Shorter was slumped in a bean bag by an open window smoking something that definitely didn’t smell like tobacco.  
  
“Happy Birthday Sing!” Eiji exclaimed, plopping down beside him to give a one-armed hug. Despite Sing’s enthusiastic response to Eiji’s greeting, he still felt bad for not having a physical present to give Sing, but the group had all decided to chip in and help refurbish the basketball court Sing used to teach the orphans to play. Sing had hidden his tears behind a smile when they revealed all the changes they’d managed to do (mainly thanks to Yutlung’s family money) and had thanked them profusely.  
  
When Ash sat beside Eiji again, he handed him a drink he’d made - a vodka coke - which he accepted gratefully.  
  
“You know, you always make these too strong,” Eiji commented after he’d taken a sip and winced at the sharp taste of alcohol. Ash’s vodka to coke ratio still needed a little work.  
  
“Maybe I’m planning on getting you drunk,” Ash shrugged, leaning back nonchalantly, and draping his free arm over the back of the sofa behind Eiji’s head. Despite his aloofness, however, Ash also winced when he finally took a sip of his own drink. Eiji simply rolled his eyes and smacked his boyfriend on the thigh.  
  
The rest of the night passed by in a blur of laughter, drinks, and drunken games. Eiji himself only stuck to his one drink, opting to stay as sober as possible this time. Ash followed suit, having only a few drinks more but staying stone-cold sober. Shorter, on the other hand, was a hilarious mix of high and drunk. His words had begun slurring into incomprehensible sentences about two hours after Eiji and Yutlung arrived, and then he slipped into his own mother tongue - Mandarin. Despite Yutlung and Sing also speaking the language, they couldn’t even understand what he was saying. By the time they thought it was a good idea to put Shorter to bed, he was already out cold slumped in an awkward position in his bean bag. Eiji winced in sympathy at the thought of the aching neck Shorter would most definitely have in the morning, along with a killer headache.  
  
“I’m going to Yutlung’s!” Sing suddenly announced at around 2 o’clock in the morning. Eiji decided not to comment on the fact that Yutlung could just stay in Sing’s room as the looks they were sending each other made him think they probably wanted to be alone. After plonking a trash can beside Shorter, the two left the apartment in a hurry, leaving Ash, Eiji and the snoring purple-haired man.  
  
“That was sudden,” Ash finally commented after a moment of silence, broken only by Shorter’s snuffles.  
  
“I don’t even want to think about what caused that,” Eiji replied with a cringe, and Ash laughed loudly even though he was cringing himself.  
  
“We should go to bed,” Ash decided randomly, standing up from the sofa with a stretch, groaning as his muscles flexed and his bones popped.  
  
“You’re right, I should probably go home,” Eiji replied, disappointed that he’d have to leave Ash yet again. Despite being sat next to him for so many hours, having to separate again always left Eiji craving to be with him even longer.  
  
“Well, you could sleep here?” Ash suggested, scratching the back of his head - a tell-tale sign that he was nervous. Eiji merely blinked. “In my bed, of course, I don’t expect you to sleep on the couch, especially with Shorter’s snores rumbling the walls.” Ash, Eiji had learned, liked to use humour to get himself out of awkward situations.  
  
Despite being together for two months, the two had never actually stayed around the others house. There never seemed to be the right moment to offer, but Eiji had dreamt of being able to wake up beside Ash’s angelic face too many times recently. The thought of finally making it a reality made his stomach swoop.  
  
“Okay,” Eiji replied easily, despite the nerves twisting in his belly. If Ash was surprised, he managed to hide it well, and simply turned towards the direction of his bedroom.  
  
Eiji had been in this room multiple times before but seeing the room under the shadows of night gave it a different feel. There was a wall littered in posters of Ash’s favourite bands and TV shows that Eiji had always found endearing - and he teased him relentlessly for. On his bedside table lay a picture of an eight-year-old Ash donned in baseball clothes, his brother behind him. The first time Eiji saw the picture, he’d teared up with how adorable Ash was as a child, and Ash had flushed, embarrassed, but let Eiji observe the picture none the less. Now, Eiji simply tilted the photo so the moonlight could reflect off the glass and smiled to himself.  
  
“You can use these as Pyjamas,” Ash said, holding out a folded sweatshirt and basketball shorts. Eiji accepted them graciously, physically stopping himself from burying his face into the material and inhaling Ash’s scent. Instead, he simply slipped into the soft clothes and crawled into bed besides Ash (who was playing on his phone to give Eiji some privacy).  
  
They both simply lay in the darkness beside one another, Eiji fighting more butterflies at the feeling of sinking into Ash’s comfortable bed wrapped in his comfortable clothes before Ash broke the silence.  
  
“Eiji,” he breathed simply; the darkness made it seem wrong to speak in anything above a whisper. Eiji turned his face towards him, only for Ash’s slim finger to start caressing his cheeks as he leant in for a kiss.  
  
Eiji accepted without hesitation, opening his mouth easily. This was something they were used to, they had spent a large chunk of their two months together kissing, but the tongue Ash slipped into his mouth was definitely new. Despite the initial shock, Eiji responded in kind, meeting Ash’s tongue with his own. Even though he didn’t know what to do, kissing Ash like this seemed like the easiest thing in the world.  
  
Just as Eiji’s neck began to ache with the awkward angle, Ash moved so he was hovering above him, hands either side of Eiji’s head and chest dangerously close to touching. Ash broke the kiss as he manoeuvred himself, and stared down at Eiji as he panted, green eyes obscured by blown-out pupils. Despite the darkness of the room, the moonlight reflecting through the slither of a curtain was enough for Eiji to see the beauty of his boyfriends face, and he raised a tentative hand to delicately touch his cheek. Ash leant into the contact like a cat, a quiet, content noise bubbling up from the back of his throat. Eiji felt himself grin at the sound.  
  
Ash leant in to kiss him once more, and Eiji immediately tilted his head up to reach him, but Ash stopped mere millimetres from Eiji’s lips. Before Eiji had time to complain, however, Ash brushed his nose against Eiji’s own, back, and forth, in an bunny kiss. Eiji scrunched up his nose as he giggled, the feeling of Ash’s nose lightly rubbing against his made him ticklish. Ash took Eiji’s moment off guard to guide himself to Eiji’s neck, placing slow, open-mouthed kisses there.  
  
Eiji felt himself gasp at the contact, both at the shock and because of how nice it felt. The kisses were warm and sweet, but the kitten licks Ash left there made his skin hot and tingly. He could feel the arousal begin to seep into his skin, and lightly guided Ash back to his lips before he could get too carried away.  
  
They resumed kissing as they had before, and Eiji’s arousal only continued to grow after every time their tongues met. Ash’s hands, too, had begun to wander, and one was tracing delicate patterns over Eiji’s abdomen, leaving goosebumps in its wake.  
  
“Wait, Ash-“ Eiji started, ripping away from the kiss. Ash was panting above him and so wonderfully flushed that Eiji felt his growing arousal speed up tenfold.  
  
“If you want me to stop, Eiji, I will,” Ash whispered softly, the hand that was trailing his stomach moving to caress his face, a thumb running softly along his cheek. “But just know that I really would like to do this with you.” The sincerity in Ash’s voice and gaze was enough to break through all of Eiji’s hesitations and, this time, Eiji was the one to slot their lips together.  
  
When they finally fell into each other, it was the most wonderful sensation. They bore themselves fully for the other, letting them take in everything without the physical barrier of clothes and the emotional barrier of reluctance. Ash mumbled Eiji’s name over and over like a mantra, the tickle of his breath against Eiji’s ear, and Eiji responded in kind. The only thing that mattered in that moment was their mingling breaths and the way the others name tasted on their lips.  
  
Eiji lay on his front, naked, once they’d both cleaned up. The room was now far too hot for clothes, and Eiji wanted to admire Ash’s naked figure for as long as he could. Ash, himself, was sat against the headboard, his fingers trailing along Eiji’s back as they both smiled, happy and content, at the other.  
  
“This is really cool,” Ash commented as he traced his fingers along the area Eiji was most insecure about. But, under Ash’s caresses, Eiji believed him when he called it cool.  
  
“It’s called a spider vein birthmark,” Eiji explained, snuggling further into Ash’s mattress. Eiji had had the mark all his life, and it was a tangle of red, purple, and blue thin lines that spread across the expanse of his upper back. Back in Japan, the kids had bullied him for it whenever they had to get changed for PE, saying it was ugly, and since then he’d kept it covered. He hadn’t even thought about it when Ash had delicately stripped him of his clothes.  
  
“It’s cool,” Ash repeated, following a specific vein with his fingers, eyes now trained solely on the mark. “I have a birthmark too, you know.” Ash pointed to his lower abdomen, and Eiji’s eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room to see a darker area of skin there. It wasn’t very big, but it was thin and long. Eiji would’ve thought it was a scar if it hadn’t had been the colour it was - a sort of beige.  
  
“It’s cool,” Eiji commented, copying Ash. The man grinned down at him fondly, ruffling his hair, but Eiji didn’t have the energy to fight back. He simply smiled up at his boyfriend, before falling into a dreamless sleep.  
  
——  
Eiji woke up the next morning to Ash kissing him all over his face, over and over again. He groaned, trying to shove the man away, but Ash was persistent. Eventually, he succumbed to the attack and giggled sleepily as Ash’s lips tickled his cheeks.  
  
“What time is it?” Eiji asked, voice thick with sleep and his accent. Ash finally stopped kissing Eiji, instead opting to lean over the boy with a grin.  
  
“6:13,” Ash replied simply. Eiji’s eyes widened  
  
“Wh- Ash! We’ve been asleep for 3 hours, let me sleep more!” Eiji tried to roll over to get a few more hours of wonderful, dreamless sleep, but his attempt was futile as he was trapped between the cage of Ash’s arms.  
  
“You’ve been asleep for 3 hours, I haven’t slept yet,” Ash replied, and Eiji frowned up at him, but Ash was speaking again before he could scold him. “Now get dressed, I wanna show you something.”  
  
Ash finally leapt up from his position above Eiji, and Eiji contemplated simply ignoring his boyfriend and falling back to sleep but decided against it. He knew it’d be far too much hassle than it was worth. Squinting through tired eyes, Eiji found Ash already dressed in his pyjamas, scouring the room for something. Since Ash was only dressed in Pyjamas, Eiji decided to simply slip into his borrowed clothes himself. When he was finished, Ash was waiting by the door, two blankets bundled in his arms.  
  
Eiji followed Ash once he exited the room, creeping past Shorter who was in the exact same position they’d left him in, and out the door. They climbed up the metal stairs that ascended across the brick of the apartment complex until they reached the top. It wasn’t much, it looked like any other rooftop, but Ash guided him, so they were facing the steadily rising sun.  
  
Once they’d reached a position Ash deemed adequate, he passed Eiji a blanket, which he immediately wrapped around his shoulders, and shuffled so he was leaning against Ash. Ash did the same and rested his head, so it was against Eiji’s.  
  
They stood in silence as the watched the sunrise over the city landscape. It cast hues of orange and yellow, reflecting off the apartment windows before it settled into the baby blue sky it was to be for the rest of the day. By the lack of clouds, Eiji could tell today was going to be a mild one.  
  
“My real name is Aslan, you know,” Ash stated once the sun had risen properly.  
  
 _”Remember what you told me once? that your mother gave you your real name, Aslan. What does it mean?”_  
 _”It’s an ancient Hebrew prayer word. It means ‘Dawn’, I was born with the sunrise.”_  
  
“Aslan,” Eiji repeated, the name sounding soft on his foreign tongue. The words he’d just heard - his own, along with Ash’s - sounded like a distant echo to him. “It means ‘Dawn’”  
  
“Yes,” Ash confirmed, shock evident in his tone. “How did you know that?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Eiji replied, the words barely a whisper. His brows were furrowed, trying to recall the time he was told this fact. The smell of water and smoke suddenly flooded his senses.  
  
“I love you, Eiji,” Ash stated simply. Despite it being the first time he had uttered those words to Eiji, Eiji wasn’t shocked. In fact, it felt like he’d heard them hundreds of times before.  
  
“I love you too, Aslan,” Eiji replied, turning his soft gaze towards Ash. Ash’s gaze matched Eiji’s own, but there was a look of determination in his eye.  
  
“Something in me thinks that that wasn’t the first time I’ve said those words to you.” Suddenly Eiji understood. He understood all the dreams that left him a shaking and sweaty mess, he understood the snippets of memories that weren’t his own and he understood why he was so drawn to Ash. He didn’t know what it was, but he understood.  
  
“I feel the same way,” Eiji replied simply because the look in Ash’s eyes made it seem like he, too, had reached the same conclusion.  
  
That somehow, somewhere, two souls were separated and through Ash and Eiji, they finally made it back to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's it!  
> I hope you all enjoyed, I loved writing this one!. and, of course, comments and kudos are always appreciated <333
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both @yutlunglovebot ! pls follow I need banana fish moots <3


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